“Dealing” with my significant other…

People ask me how I deal with my husband when we are having disagreements. Let me start by saying that we both had to learn and continue to learn how to effectively communicate. One of the things I try to do is listen to what his point is instead of listening just to find my own come back. Doing this takes A LOT of energy for me.

On this particular week my husband was needing more of me than I could handle at the moment, Aunt Flo came to visit me and it had made me sensitive and grouchy. You all know that my periods are severely irregular and painful. I get hip and back pains, tummy cramps, heavy flow. Anyways long story short I cannot deal with life.

We got into an argument and to my disadvantage I pettily hurt his pride with 6 words that to me don’t mean anything. I was mad and blurted out something hurtful. The weight of those words were heavy and came at a cost. I hurt my husband’s pride and he didn’t feel valued.

For three whole days he didn’t talk to me. Meanwhile,  I read a lot of scripts in the bible looking for guidance. I sent him the bible verses I would find. On the third day of this wedge between us I decided that I was not going to let this petty argument ruin our marriage, I prayed long and hard. Then I asked my husband to open up to me about his feelings. He said some mean things but I remained calm and listened to him. After making him feel understood I sincerely apologized and snuggled up to him. I fell asleep right away. Peace was reestablished and I felt that weight lift off of my shoulders.

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The takeaway I received from this experience is that we should always remain calm, walk away to collect yourself if you have to, when disagreeable situations pop up. It helps avoid escalation and gives us an opportunity to resolve the issue at hand in an effective way. Situations will pop up because you have two imperfect people in an imperfect marriage in an imperfect world. Basically the odds are against us, lol. Let’s make the best of it and “deal” with each other in a loving way! Positivity is a lifestyle.

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