Loss…

November 26th marked the 7th anniversary of my grandfather’s death. I want to take the time to write about my experience with loss. 

The loss of my grandfather was the most devastating to date. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was given a short time to live. During that time I did everything I could to be there for him and saw him as much as I could. At the time I was a general manager of a retail store putting in 55 to 70 hrs a week. Regardless I would visit my grandfather even if only for 15 minutes before work.  I was able to share some really special moments with my grandfather that I will cherish forever.

(cell phone rings)
“grandpa died…”  
I drop to the floor. I was at work and without hesitation I left to be with my grandfather. I was in my ’93 Honda Accord driving like a maniac trying to make it to my grandpa.
(POP!)
My tire had exploded. I pulled in to the first street and jumped out my car crying hysterically. I didn’t know why this was happening to me. I had just gotten new tires installed.
My grandpa… I need to get to my grandpa.
I am pacing back and forth next to my car.
“Are you ok? Have you been hurt? I heard a loud pop.” 
A man had walked out of his house and saw the state I was in. I poured my heart and soul out to that man.
“Woaw, woaw. Breath, calm down. Slow down so I can understand you.”
I take a deep breath and tell him what happened. 
He puts his hand in his pocket, pulls out his car keys and hands them over to me. “Go. Be with your family.”
I gave him my car keys asked him if he wanted my drivers licence or purse or wallet. He said my car keys were enough and without thinking I drove the final 20 minutes to my grandfather’s house. That man not only gave a stranger his car but he took my car to get new tires and refused us when we tried to pay him back. He only requested us to pay it forward and help whoever we can in the future.

Looking back on this experience I have learned a few things. God is ready to help those in need and he never leaves us alone. He moved that man to help and trust me. Not only am I ever grateful and humbled by this but I live my life trying to have the same type of giving spirit as this stranger that gave his car to a young woman that was hysterically crying in front of his home.

I still cry every now and again. Regardless of the pain I feel from this loss, I feel blessed and grateful. Grateful to be blessed with a loving grandfather who animated his storytelling making everyone in the room cry from laughing so hard.  I miss my grandfather just the same even though it has been 7 years.

We lost my great aunt the other week and I have been so emotional. It is never a good feeling to lose a loved one. She was my nephews nanny and he called her grandma. It was devastating to see him experience this loss. He is such a strong boy with lots of faith in God. He finds comfort because God tells us, through the bible, that when we die he keeps us in his memory until the day he will reunite us with our loved ones. I feel blessed for believing in a loving god that promises me to be reunited with loved ones in a world where there will be no more illness nor pain nor tears.

Our beliefs are so important. It brings us strength, it brings us hope, it brings us courage, a certain level of happiness, positivity and so much more. If you are experiencing loss please know that it is ok to be sad and cry and let it all out. Find your way to cope and find hope. Be courageous and find your strength. Remember that positivity is a lifestyle!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Diana Guerrero says:

    Beautifully written. Papito gil lives on in our memories, and now, also, in your memoirs.

    Liked by 1 person

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